Thursday, November 08, 2007

Daily Mail - Adoption horror story

I've noticed the UK's Daily Mail has a lot of stories about people confessing and explaining horrible things they've done, like women who've had 10 abortions or a man who cheated on his dying wife, so now I'm going to draw attention to these shocking stories and comment on them.

I didn't like my adopted daughter so I gave her back
This single mother thought it would be nice to adopt a 7 year old girl who was sent to Britain by her parents to live with her uncle who abandoned her. Her expectations of a little girl who had been rejected by her family are unbelievably unreasonable and naive:


"I simply couldn't reach her. I suppose I did get frustrated by it. I would say to her sometimes: 'Do you want me to be your mummy?', and she would reply: 'No, I've already got one.'
[Well, does she expect this 7 year old girl to understand that her parents abandoned her and now she has to find a new mommy? Does she expect this girl to forget about her own mother and immediately take to her?]

..."Once when she had done something or other I had asked her not to, she just gave me this look as if to say: 'What are you going to do about it?' I thought to myself: 'You just don't care, do you?'
"It was not the incidents in themselves that bothered me, more the underlying emotional gap."
[Clearly this little girl has abandonment issues and was testing her adoptive mother. And what is this "emotional gap" that this woman expects to fill with a troubled child?]

...Around this time, Zahina wrote a letter to her mother in Tanzania, asking when she was coming to fetch her. Eventually she received a card, but there was no reply to her questions.
"The penny dropped, and she realised her mother wasn't coming to get her," says Julie. "She had no other option but me. At that point she actually started making more effort, but it was too late by then.
[How horrible that this woman didn't understand that the little girl was holding out hope her parents would come get her and instead gave up on the child for not adapting as quickly or as emotionally as she had hoped. Of course a 7 year old would think her mother was coming back and give her current caretaker problems.]

..."When I did tell Zahina [she was sending her back] she was incredibly upset, she just sobbed and sobbed. It was hard to take. She said she'd tried so hard, and got nothing back, and I told her I knew what she meant because that was exactly how I had felt.
[I seriously doubt a 7 year old expressed the feeling that she tried hard and got nothing back. And shame on this woman for expecting something back so soon from a traumatized little girl!]

..."Zahina and I had different expectations. I hadn't expected to replicate
the relationship I had with my daughter but I had expected a certain emotional
closeness.
"That was not Zahina's expectation of our relationship.
"But Zahina and I went on a journey together and I hope she learnt something about the nature of parenting and family relationships. While she was with me she came
to terms with a lot of her past."
[Her expectations of this 7 year old girl were and still are unrealistic. I doubt the little girl even understood what was happening and that she was being adopted or even what that meant.]



This woman is horrible and completely unfit to adopt! She should have had more patience and realized #1 that this girl was ONLY 7 years old, #2 she had been abandoned by her mother who is still alive, and #3 she needed stability and unconditional love and attention. That poor child will be messed up and have abandonment issues for life because of her!

And that's the Daily Mail horror story of the day!

1 comment:

Kate said...

That is TERRIBLE! I can't believe she was allowed to adopt in the first place! Oh, my God....that poor, poor little girl.